


Too Far Gone

by jaxxii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Angst, Character Death, Hurt, Memory Loss, Suicidal Thoughts, Virus, thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-10-24
Packaged: 2018-04-19 07:29:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4737854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaxxii/pseuds/jaxxii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Akaashi Keiji is infected. He thought if he were to get the virus, that he'd be a walking corpse. No thoughts just nothingness as his body was used for harm. But this virus is just that, a virus.</p>
<p> Akaashi is alive and dead at the same time; his body controlled by the virus, while his mind could still comprehend what was happening. </p>
<p> To others, he looked like the dead walking, but underneath, he was still alive. He was truly in hell.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Two months. It has been two months, and the world has already gone to hell. The outbreak, it made people go crazy. Their body's slowly decaying, their brains taken over by the virus. This is hell.

At first, people played it off as a joke. The videos of people dying, killing, and eating each other. We thought they were pranks pulled because of the whole zombie craze going on, so when it spread, we didn't run, until blood was shed.

Riots, gangs, violence all around happened in the cities. People took the scare and the 'pranks' as an outlet to go out and cause trouble, get high, and start gangs and wars. It was hell. 

The gangs, being stupid, loud, and cocky, died out first. More food for the sick, more people infected, more death. More living hell.

I, Akaashi Keiji, am one of the sick. But I am not dead. Yet.

°·°·°·°·°·

I thought when I was infected that I would be thrown into unconsciousness, that I would be dead. I didn't know that this virus, was in fact, a virus. I can feel everything, and it hurts.

I lost everything. My family, friends, team. I lost Bokuto, I would never tell him this, but he was like my brother. We were family, and I can only hope he is okay; back with the survivors, with kuroo, kenma, our family in this shithole that is the world right now.

°·°·°·°·°·

I wouldn't wish this life in anyone. Right now, it's just me, my thoughts, and my decaying body controlled by the virus. Moving in a pack, with others just like me. I feel sorry for them. Why can't we be dead? If I could, I would kill myself, and the others. No one deserves this life.

°·°·°·°·°·

I know now that there is nothing that can help me, or the other infected; the damage is impossible to undo, but hopefully people will find a vaccine. 

I'm sorry Bo, I told you that I would survive. Brother, I miss you. I hope you're okay. If I die, I hope to look after you.

°·°·°·°·°·

Bokuto, I never told you, but I knew you liked Kuroo. Its funny because you both tried to pull off the whole bro thing, but there was something else. I hoped you confessed. Ah, that reminds me, I had a small crush on karasuno's third year setter Sugawara Koushi. I found him so beautiful, but I think he had a thing for the captain of their team. I hope they're okay.

°·°·°·°·°·

I'm confused. I keep losing track of time, my thoughts running together. It hurts. So much. Why can't I die? I want to die!

°·°·°·°·°·

Bokuto, I remembered when I first got sick. After I woke up from my fever, I thought I was fine. I thought maybe, just maybe I was immune. Then I couldn't feel the pain in the bite, I couldn't control my movements, or call out for help. I knew. 

The place was empty when I involuntary moved around, hoping to stumble upon a human to eat and turn. I knew by the vacancy that you guys left me. But it was fine. I mean, my whole left arm was gone. Taken off by three of the sick when- 

I don't remember how. I thought that I just did but... 

Anyways, Bokuto, I never told you, but I knew you liked Kuroo. I don't know how, but I knew. That kind of reminds me that I liked someone. Was it kenma, I can't remember him. Bokuto, who is Kuroo? I remember the name, I think. Nevermind that. I must be making up names and faces now.

°·°·°·°·°·

I remember your face, but not you. I'm sorry. You were my brother, right? We don't look much alike, but whatever.

After awhile, my body moved to a more deserted place. Not a lot of sick, but I can here voices. My body moved towards it unconsciously. 

I can't see anymore, but something about the voices is familiar.

Closer, and closer I got to the living, I heard them.

"Akaashi!" who is that? It sounds familiar, like it was someone I knew.

"Bokuto, no, he's not alive!" I remember. Brother, your name is Bokuto.

I felt my body get pushed, then squeezed as if I was being hugged. I don't want to hurt them, but I'm so hungry. 

Bokuto, I hope you're happy, whoever you are. I can't remember.

I felt something go through my right shoulder. I think it was my shoulder, anyway. What was happening again?

"Bokuto, get away from it!" the voice spoke again. "Its not him anymore, it's a monster!" if only they knew. No! I don't want them to know. Kill me please, and live.

A gunshot. I remember the sound. My head exploded. Well, it felt like it. For a moment, it felt like everything left my head. The pressure that had been building up for how long? I don't know. 

Anyways, I felt alive again. What happened? 

I twitched my fingers. I could do that? My eyes shot open, and I saw them, and I remembered. The shot must have cleared some of the virus, I was still a corpse, but I could see and move slightly on my own now. For now, I corrected myself.

Three people stood before me, Bokuto, Kuroo, and Kenma. A gun was in Kuroo's hands, it pointed at me. 

I looked to Bokuto and Kenma. Both had tears in their eyes. Bokuto looked away when my dead eyes shifted to his.

"Kuroo, you didn't kill hi-" Bokuto stopped. "You didn't finish it off."

I'm an it.

Kuroo pulled back on the gun, a clicking noise echoed from it. Just before he pulled the trigger, I thought, 'Thank you'.

Too late

Bang!

I was too far gone to save


	2. Chapter one - strong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry
> 
>  
> 
> Tumblr:   
>  daichi-and-koushi.tumblr.com

Three men staggered into the opening of hospital saint Maria. Two holding the weight of a limp body, and one weighed down by a duffle bag.

Hospital saint Maria is strong. She was an older hospital, cracks forming in hidden areas unseen by human eyes, long dark hallways that held echoes of the past, and many wings. Maria was a gift, and the group of survivors living in her couldn't be more grateful for her existence.

Maria was a hospital near the country, built there before cities grew and people gathered, so she wasn't nearly as overrun as the hospitals in the cities were. 

Maria was big. Four major labs, backup generators for backup generators, a water system that filters all water through a series of steps including a giant garden with plants as tall as the greenhouse that were in; and this was all needed, the survivors were grateful that Maria was the only hospital here, because if she fell, there wouldn't be help near. Then or now.

Maria is strong, she had to and has to be. We just have to protect her so she can protect us.

°·°·°·°·°·

Suga sat at a desk in one of the four major labs, his legs drawn up on the chair, his head buried in his knees as his arms wrapped around his legs, keeping him secure. Keeping him sane. Keep in him from breaking.

He would never let himself cry, not ever. He didn't have time to have a breakdown and cry and melt, and almost give up. On how nice it sounded though.

He has to figure this world out for his group, to live for the ones who didn't make it to this hospital, but made sure Suga did. Like Daichi, or Asahi, Tanaka, Takeda-sensei, coach.

He has to.

He can do i-

"Suga!"

Suga turned his head slowly, dropping his legs to the floor as he looked up to find Ennoshita leaning against the door frame to the lab, keeping weight off of his injured leg.

"Bokuto, kuroo, and Kenma are back. Come greet them with me, you need a break." Ennoshita spoke again, quieter than the first time.

Suga nodded, picking himself up from the chair as he followed the group's leader, and his kohai, out to the main floor of the hospital.

Daichi used to be the leader of the group, before the hospital, but when they lost him, Ennoshita took his place, surpassing Bokuto and Kuroo, Iwaizumi wasn't an option seeing as he had Oikawa too look after, and that was enough.

The pair was walking through an especially long and dark corridor when Ennoshita decided to speak again. "How has your research been? You seem… tired."

Suga leaned onto a wall for support before sliding down it slowly. He felt utterly defeated.

"We need to hold a meeting soon, I- I have some important news we need to discuss." Suga looked up to Ennoshita, and he knew he wouldn't be able to last long at this rate.

°·°·°·°·°·

Bokuto, Kuroo and Kenma rushed in through the entrance, a lifeless body held securely in Bokuto's arms. 

The body was missing an arm, and was obviously dead, but when Suga caught a glimpse of the boys face, he knew.

Akaashi Keiji. The body was fellow setter Akaashi Keiji.

Right before the outbreak, Karasuno, Nekoma and Fukurodani's volleyball teams were having a training camp together, some people were separated from the main group, others killed, some killed themselves…

But Suga hadn't seen Akaashi since the camp, he hadn't heard about him either, he always hopped he was alive, because he had a lot of potential. That dream was crushed. 

Suga hadn't even been remotely close to Akaashi, but he felt like his world was crumbling, his breathing turned to short pants, and when he heard that Kuroo finished him, he nearly passed out.

His eyes filled with stinging tears, his hands trembled, and he wasn't noticed until he couldn't choke back the sobs bubbling in his throat.

He hadn't reacted like this when Daichi died, or Asahi, or tanaka, or when he found Kageyama and Hinata's bodies sat next to each other their hands enter twinned, their others loosely holding a gun each, and a bullet hole through both of their heads. He carried on, picking up his team, and moved forward, his pain hidden behind a soft smile, but now; he couldn't.

°·°·°·°·°· 

Iwaizumi Hajime walked into the main room of the hospital, first seeing Bokuto laying a boy he recognized as Fukurodani's setter, onto a stretcher. The second thing he noticed was the look on Suga's face followed by the choked sounds coming from the boy. 

Iwaizumi quickly rushed over when he saw Suga loose balance, catching him and lowering them both to the floor. Suga instantly latched onto him, holding onto his arms with an excruciating force, his nails digging into Iwaizumi's skin, but Iwaizumi let him. He let Suga hold on to him because Suga needed something real to feel, he needed a rock right now, and Iwaizumi would gladly oblige.

Iwaizumi started speaking softly to Suga, coaxing him to open his eyes, and Iwaizumi noticed he started using the same voice he spoke to Oikawa with, one that wouldn't scare him, comfort and make him feel safe. 

Iwaizumi lifted Suga's head, and started to softly plant kisses all over his face and head, a trick he uses to calm down Oikawa after an attack.

Suga's breath started to slow as he heard Iwaizumi's voice. "It's okay, Suga." "tell me what's wrong Suga." "why are you crying Suga?" "I can help you if you talk to me."

"I don't know." Suga looked up to Iwaizumi, not noticing the small crowd of people behind him. "I was already so-" sobs "but then I saw him, an I-I couldn't hold it back anym-more" Suga's face was turning red, and Iwaizumi started to pet Suga's hair softly, hoping to calm him down some more.

"They're alive." Iwaizumi's hand stopped moving. "They aren't dead, I have some data s-showing the only part of t-the brain the virus gets to is their motor functions, the rest of the brain's activity is the same as ours." Suga buried his face into Iwaizumi's cheast, as Iwaizumi looked up to the group people in front of him.

Kenma was crying, Kuroo looked sick and Bokuto was looking down to his feet, fists clenched. Ennoshita looked horrified, and new people were coming into the room as Suga finished.

"All of them, every single one of the infected are still conscious. Were killing people who are absolutely terrified, and confused. We're murderers."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's play guess how many people are mentally unstable!!
> 
> I based Maria loosely on a summer camp I went to once. They told us about their water system, and took us through a giant tent with huge plants an a compost center, it was awesome.
> 
> But angst already in the first and second parts you can tell what kind of author I am.
> 
> Tell me if you want romance in this, cause I'm a bit iffy at the moment.


	3. Chapter three: vulnerability

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong platonic relationships will be the end of me.
> 
>  
> 
> Tumblr: daichi-and-koushi.tumblr.com

Suga pretended to sleep. He was brought back to his room after his meltdown, and after waking up from a twelve hour nap, he felt stupid.

Stupid for going five days without a full nights sleep, stupid for breaking down and dragging Iwaizumi into his mess, and stupid for spewing out such important news like that.

Suga tried to ignore his unwanted visitors Noya and Ennoshita, two of his closet friends. They meant well, and Suga understands that, but he just wants to be alone.

He heard a quiet knock on his door, and Noya's loud steps towards it.

"Is Suga awake?" Iwaizumi's voice filled Suga's quiet room, and he felt himself tense up.

"No, sorry," Ennoshita spoke, making Suga relax.

"I'm not stupid Suga, I know you're awake, you suck at lying." Iwaizumi spoke annoyed.

Suga sat up reluctantly, not meeting anyone's gaze. 

"Can you give us some time?" Iwaizumi looked to Nishinoya then to Ennoshita, who agreed, eyeing Iwaizumi for reasons to not trust him.

Iwaizumi only spoke again after the door separating them from the others closed.

"Suga," Iwaizumi sighed, running his hands over his face before looking at Suga. "It's okay to break down. You don't have to hide from us."

Suga pulled his legs up, sitting criss-cross and patting the empty space on the bed. Iwaizumi took His cue and sat.

"I know, it's just I can't break down, I have to stay sane for as long as I possibly can---which isn't very long---because I'm needed right now. I need to keep up with the research, and make sure I know what's going on so you can live." Suga started to cry. 

"People offer to help, like Yamaguchi, but when I think about what this job did to me, I-I can't let anyone go through it too!" Suga's fists clenched the sheets that were pooled around him.

"I never told you guys what I do, did I?" Iwaizumi looked shocked as Suga looked up to him trying to smile. "I never told you what I have to do to get the little information that I have. Hell, none of you have been in the lab in the basement. I just ask for infected subjects, and samples from you guys. I even do major testing on myself."

"Suga, what happened to you?" Iwaizumi took Suga's hand into his own two, bringing it close to his face.

"The truth. I don't know when I can go back down to the basement, they're still there…" 

Iwaizumi had heard enough. Suga was obviously hurting, and he could hear what Suga has to say later. When he wasn't so emotionally unable.

"You don't have to tell us now Suga. Wait until you're ready and sure, okay?" Suga nodded at Iwaizumi's words, slipping his hand from Iwaizumi's to wrap him in a hug.

"Thank you,"

The two stayed like that for a good while. Suga holding on to Iwaizumi as if he were the most important thing in the world, and Iwaizumi holding onto Suga as if to keep him from flying away.

"Hey, when you were helping me calm down earlier, did you kiss me?" Iwaizumi heard the teasing tone from Suga and started to sputter, trying to explain his reasoning.

Suga started to laugh, and Iwaizumi couldn't help but feel astonished. Suga was truly amazing and strong.

°·°·°·°·°·

When Iwaizumi got back to his and Oikawa's room, Oikawa was sitting up in his bed waiting for Iwaizumi in the dark.

The light from the hallway that filtered into the room past iwaizumi's body lit up Oikawa's form surprising Iwaizumi.

"Shittykawa, what are you doing awake?" Oikawa looked up to Iwaizumi, his eyes widening.

"Iwa-chan, you weren't here to protect me. Why didn't Iwa-chan protect me?" Oikawa's broken voice filled Iwaizumi, his heart contracting at the sound.

"I'm here now Oikawa, don't worry." Iwaizumi had taken to softening his voice around Oikawa, ever since his mental stability had diminished. It hurt Iwaizumi to think of how Oikawa had been before; happy, with a child like behavior. All that was gone now. He should have had some more time to grow up. He couldn't handle the situation they were out into.

"Where was Iwa-chan?" Iwaizumi stepped into the room, closing the door and turning on the lights.

"I was talking with Suga-san, remember?" Iwaizumi picked Oikawa up off of His bed and dropped him into his own, slipping in beside him.

"No," Iwaizumi covered them both with the blanket.

"Okay," Oikawa turned to face Iwaizumi, fitting his face into Iwaizumi's chest, moving his hands so they wrapped around Iwaizumi's arms.

"Iwa-chan, you have nice biceps." Oikawa mummbled, sleep obviously near.

"I know."

"Mean Iwa-chan." Oikawa pouted. "You were supposed to be flattered that I complemented you."

Iwaizumi hummed, making Oikawa giggle slightly at the rumbling feeling from Iwaizumi's chest.

"Will you protect me Iwa-chan?"

"Yes," this had become a normal occurrence, Iwaizumi needing to give Oikawa assurance that he would never let anything happen to him.

"Forever and ever?"

"Forever and always."

"Even from the aliens that want to take me away from my Iwa-chan?" Iwaizumi chuckled at the reference to their childhood.

"Especially from the aliens that want to take you away from me."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

"I love you,"

"Of course you do."

"Mean, Iwa-chan! Mean!"

"I love you too trashykawa."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So short. But yay for bonding!!
> 
> All relationships will be platonic for right now... Just very very strong.
> 
> Reviews and feedback are much appreciated so feel free to tell me what you think!
> 
> Thank you all for reading


	4. What is sanity?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not good at writing a lot of words; however, I am good at putting meaning into the few words I do write.
> 
> Tumblr: daichi-and-koushi.tumblr.com

Yamaguchi crept into the large meeting room in the hospital. There had been a last minute schedule change, prompting a group meeting in a topic that he was not aware of.

He found a seat at the large table filling slowly with others from the group, next to Ennoshita, who was The appointed leader of this little group. 

Everyone was invited to attend these meetings, but people who were just regular people, who didn't have a job usually didn't come to these meetings. Yamaguchi had to, as well as a few others, like Kuroo, Bokuto, Iwaizumi, Suga and a few more. It was Yamaguchi's job to care for people who were less than what was deemed mentally fit.

Once all the seats were filled, Ennoshita started the meeting. "I called all of you here for a reason you may or may not know. As some of you might have witnessed, Suga recently had a sort of meltdown where he said somethings that we weren't ready to hear. And now we have to be."

Ennoshita proceeded to introduce Suga for explanation.

Yamaguchi hadn't been there during Suga's meltdown, so he wasn't sure what he was in for.

Suga stood to speak, "As you all may know, I've been doing some testing with the infected, and I have reached some startiling results." Suga sighed. "I've compaird some of their brain activity and patterns with mine, and-" Suga coughed. "And they're very similar. Since we still don't have complete understanding of the brain, I can't tell you what's exactly going on, all I know is that I have reason to believe that the infected are still conscious, based off of where in the brain the virus is most common. Which happens to be the motor area, sensory area, and as time goes on, the frontal lobe." Suga took a breath and continued.

"So when they are first infected to a couple months after, they are still conscious, the timing depends on other factors that we don't have time for, so yeah." Suga twisted a part of his shirt in nerves. "As time goes on, the virus takes over the brain, causing the infected to die, when that happens, the virus no longer has control over the body. So, the infected has to be alive to, well, be infected. That's mostly why they don't decay fast…"

Yamaguchi felt sick. He felt so sick because- "So," his voice gave out. "So, Tsukki, he-" 

Yamaguchi felt a hand on his back, and turned to see Ennoshita. "It's okay Yamaguchi, you'll be fine. Would you have let him suffer like that?" Ennoshita's soft voice calmed him immediately.

"Could he see me?" the question made Suga look uncomfortable.

"Yes, I believe so."

Kuroo spoke up next. "I don't understand how the infected attack though, wouldn't they need to have more access to different parts of the brain, and since you said when they gain access they die, so how does that work?"

Suga answered surely. "They do infect other parts of the brain, just not as much as the motor area, the sensory area, and the frontal lobe. So there are small swarms of the virus around most of the brain, it grows from those, but you were right with the virus needing more access to the different parts of the brain."

The meeting went on like that, questions and answers. Yamaguchi noticed that Suga spoke at looked confident, but Yamaguchi had also been studying psychology ever since he could remember. And with that knowledge, Suga was perfectly not okay.

Yamaguchi went up to Iwaizumi to tell him that, and also that he was going to visit Oikawa. He just needed out of that room, and talking to Oikawa was the perfect distraction.

°·°·°·°·°·

When Yamaguchi opened the door to Oikawa and Iwaizumi's room, he wasn't suprised to see the lights were off and Oikawa was huddled under his covers.

Keeping the lights off, Yamaguchi closed the door behind him, navigating his way through the darkness to Oikawa.

"Move over Oikawa." Yamaguchi pushed Oikawa over, slipping into the bed beside him.

"Couldn't wait any longer to see me, Yama-chan? It's okay, I won't tell." Oikawa let out a fake giggle that tugged at Yamaguchi's heart.

"Oh, shut up." Yamaguchi laughed back, pretending not to notice.

"Iwa-chan and Suga-san have been together a lot. Can you stay with me when Iwa isn't here?"

Yamaguchi smiled. "Of course. I'll be here for you whenever you need me."

"And I'll be here for you." that caught Yamaguchi off guard.

"Oikawa-san, what do you mean?" Oikawa rolled his eyes.

"I'm not stupid, Yama-chan!" Oikawa said matter of factly. "I know something's up. What is it?" 

Yamaguchi didn't know how to answer. "Remember when I told you that Tsukishima left?" Yamaguchi coughed to cover up unwanted cracks in his voice and Oikawa nodded. "Well, I'm still sad about that. I miss him a lot."

Oikawa tisked. "You'll find him again don't worry!" Yamaguchi nodded sadly at Oikawa's enthusiasm, knowing he would never see Tsukishima again.

"I have to go Oikawa-san, I forgot I had to talk to Iwaizumi-kun." Oikawa shook his head.

"You're too formal yama-chan! You and Iwa-chan." Oikawa pouted, but let Yamaguchi go.

Yamaguchi left the room quickly. He couldn't do this anymore. It was so hard to lie to Oikawa, but it was to protect him. 

He sat on the floor and rested against the door separating him from Oikawa. Yamaguchi didn't feel like trying to find Iwaizumi, so waiting for him there seemed like The best option. Until he fell asleep.

Arms wrapping around him to hoist his body up woke him. Yamaguchi groaned softly, opening his eyes to find kuroo holding him.

"Taking care of pretty boy tire you out?" Yamaguchi took time to comprehend Kuroo's words, answering shortly after.

"Yeah, I don't know what to do anymore." Yamaguchi spoke regarding many different things.

"Is this about Tsukishima?" Yamaguchi sucked in a breath.

"Partly, but also about Oikawa and his fragile state of mind. Since he somehow 'forgot' about what happened to us, it's been harder to keep him with us. I know," Yamaguchi paused. "I know he's going to break. Soon or not, he is and I don't know what to do."

While they were talking, Yamaguchi didn't notice Kuroo carrying him back to his own room until he was dropped onto the bed.

"It's okay, Yamaguchi. Get some rest, it's nearly midnight. I'll talk to Iwaizumi about your worries during our morning rounds." With a smile, Kuroo left Yamaguchi to his thoughts and prayers…if he still believed in any God.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm legit just bullshitting the science behind this and writing it in a way that it sounds believable...
> 
> If you guys want ships, then you can tell me. If I do, then I think most of the relationships would be rare pairs, because those are my weakness.
> 
> Ok, thanks for reading!!

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story that I am posting on this site, and I'm very excited to post more. I'm thinking that if this one shot is liked then I could possibly make a series out of it. I'd like to hear your input on that matter. Thank you for reading, an I hope you all enjoyed!! ^-^


End file.
